He's in Office . . . What does this mean
I’m listening to Chani’s astrology for the week, as a means to some how cope with the deeply disturbing and unexplainable heaviness that comes with todays change of power.
“We change our goals, how we organize, we stay with what works and refocus on being ALL IN, THIS YEAR. Working with what we have and taking this moment exceptionally seriously. This is the call we have no choice but to answer, dare to dream what is affirming and what collective liberation can look like. We have to reclaim our imagination from the machine of destruction. To create something joyous and wonderfully rebellious.”
From personal to my career, collective connection is going to an important aspect to build and be apart of these coming years. With the age of Aquarius here and the end of a 248 year cycle for this country, I can't help but imagine this is like the end of a plane ride, descending to its destination. That will ultimately be the beginning of a new environment altogether. It’s turbulent, it can be scary, we hold on tight, brace for any impact and secure ourselves in.
There are ton of communities to participate in that I have made it a goal to be apart of. Community fridge is a big one as I am a lover of creating dishes and sweets. On a personal matter, manifesting joy through movement in community with dance classes with friends. And support one another in community pot lucks, norishing one another and ensuring food security.
As for career, creativity is the main goal. There is nothing better to inspire, move, and transform feelings, energies, hearts and minds than to fully step into who we are through art. Whether that is through photography or small meet ups for creative self-expression, this is the calling. This is what is important.
If you are reading this and are in Austin Texas, I could really use your help if you know anyone with the space to host creative nights together.
This isn’t over for anyone of us.
New Offerings for 2025
NEW YEAR OFFERINGS PACKAGES
fuck the patriarchy
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fuck the patriarchy 〰️
Helping others discover who they are—I’ll admit, I don’t have all the answers. I don’t believe anyone does. But what I know for certain is that our ability to tap into our own superpowers creates an interconnected web of knowledge that we can only access when we’re open: open to share, open to receive, and open to intuition. As simple as this sounds, we all know it’s far more nuanced. Obstacles like priorities, time, and limiting beliefs often prevent us from opening up. Many of us weren’t afforded certain privileges, like learning how to build healthy relationships, resolve conflicts, or even say yes to ourselves.
I used to think isolation was the only way to keep myself safe. That belief stayed with me until I started a business and realized I needed a community. I couldn’t do it all myself, no matter how much I was led to believe otherwise while growing up.
The wake-up call, for me, came during the election. Like so many others, I held onto hope that our country had evolved, that we’d learned from the last disastrous and deadly administration. I regretfully minimized my role in the world, thinking it didn’t need my help or niche guidance. Then the results came in.
I dissociated on the couch, stuck in denial, clinging to the hope that the next day would bring a different announcement. But the results stayed the same.
It felt like a slap in the face, and I quickly snapped back to reality. If hate can breed hate, then love can breed love. So, what the hell was I doing sitting there?
Guiding women to embrace their righteous rage and stand in their truth is more than just taking a picture. It’s about empowerment—especially now. I grieved. I cried. I screamed. I felt stupid for hoping there was more love than hate.
But I came out of that with clarity. No more playing it plain, playing it safe, or following rules that don’t serve us. We’re making our own rules—and doing it in a way that resonates deeply with women.
PACKAGES FOR WOMEN BY WOMEN
OG LIMITED LUXURY PORTRAIT EXPERIENCE -
We are bringing back one of our OG offerings into the new year—but with a twist. With our focus on creating funky and unconventional photoshoot themes that celebrate the ever-changing growth of the human experience, we also want to honor a nostalgic favorite for those who have been loyal to this journey year after year.
As a lover of efficiency, this package is designed to make your life a little easier—a true “don’t stress the details” experience. From trusted professional hair and makeup artists, access to stunning locations, and fine art printers for your final images, the mental load is off of you. Every session is custom to either your dream theme, location or a reflection of your life in that moment. At the end I will bring samples to build your ideal custom album from scratch and other prints for ordering. Our albums are deliciously stunning, like shiny page gliding, custom interior page designs and one of a kind covers so there is never more than one kind of design result.
Sp no need for extensive Googling, endless emails, or coordinating with multiple people. Enjoy the experience, create lasting memories, and walk away with a beautifully curated print.
‘Grieve!
For the love of all that is living and no longer alive, grieve
To know Grief is to know an extremity of Love
Feel now or feel later, the choice is yours but know that Grief will not be ignored
Grief will course through you until you can no longer deny Grief’s presence
Crave Joy’s presence and Joy will come to you in time - unexpectedly, even
Allow Joy to bubble up from within you and you will feel Joy wash over your entire being
To know Joy is to know an extremity of Love
Have Joy for the love of all that is living and no longer alive - rejoice!’
NEW! - BEcoming – Journey To Self 2025 Collection
Four seasons, four sessions, one end-of-year Collection Chapter Album.
This journey is about grieving, celebrating, rebuilding, and transforming throughout the year. Whether the theme of each season is known or yet to be discovered, the answers are always within you. Together, we will check in each season, selecting one word to encapsulate your growth, and commemorate it through a personalized photoshoot.
If you find it challenging to celebrate your wins, experience frequent burnout, or feel called to uncover and embrace your most authentic self, this collection is designed to mindfully guide you. Each step will help keep you on your course, reflecting your evolution and growth.
At the end of the year, you will receive a custom-designed 2025 Wrapped Annual Album featuring all four sessions. Each photo will be lightly retouched and professionally edited, beautifully curated in a keepsake album that reflects your unique story.
Key Details:
Limited spots available! Enrollment closes on February 14, 2025.
Sessions will begin after February 14, with the option to start your collection in winter or spring.
This experience is for those ready to embrace their journey of self-discovery, transformation, and celebration.
Don’t miss your chance to document your year in a way that honors the growth, joy, and challenges that make you who you are.
SUBMIT HERE TO SECURE YOUR SPOT.
COMMUNITY WORKSHOPS EVENTS
Every three months, we will host an exclusive workshop or themed shoot for the community. Our primary focus is community building and creating opportunities for those dedicated to their journey of growth. These events are designed to foster connections with other small business owners, provide valuable resources, and engage in activities that build confidence, mindset, self-acceptance, and emotional expression.
While we’ve often been led to believe that we must have all the answers, our hope is that these meetups serve as safe spaces for vulnerability—offering clarity by addressing internal blocks. Our goal is to support the process of integration and wholeness, making the journey easier and more meaningful.
Together, we can lean into our communities, relying on one another to thrive—or simply take a much-needed creative break.
GIFT-FORWARD
Clients can now “gift-forward” a small percentage of their package cost to help subsidize a future session for someone in need. All funds donated will be matched by Amanda, doubling the impact!
This experience includes a personalized photo session tailored to capture the essence of who you are right now. After your session, you’ll have the opportunity to gift another session to someone deserving—a friend reaching a new milestone, a family member who rarely treats themselves, or a stranger in the community whose story deserves to be told.
This package is a way to spread kindness, beauty, and connection in a way that lasts a lifetime, empowering both you and another to see yourselves in a new light. We love creating a ripple effect of love and gratitude!
COMMUNITY PACKAGE DISCOUNT
Maximizing opportunities and giving back have always been at the heart of what we do. With our new Community Discount, clients who pay their balance in full before the due date will enable us to donate 5% of their package cost to one of three amazing organizations:
Lilith Fund
OutYouth
Safe Alliance
The choice is yours!
Thank you, truly your support is everything to me
I am so excited to share this with everyone! There should be no reason we feel isolated and alone in a world with so many people, yet it’s understandable when that same world has used shame as a tool for self-improvement instead of encouraging us to pause and take the time to integrate the darkest parts of ourselves to feel whole.
There’s a common belief that we need to be "whole" in order to receive the things we desire in life—a healthy relationship, that dream job or hobby—but this couldn’t be further from the truth! The beauty of life is in the journey toward wholeness, in the pieces of time it takes to get there. The lessons, the learning, the connections, the "ah-ha" moments—it’s all the parts in between feeling "not enough" and feeling whole that make this life meaningful.
Moving with intention and loving each moment as if we’re experiencing it for the first time—that’s where the magic lies. Integrating art into healing is one of the most beautiful aspects of the human experience, and it’s what makes this life so special, magical, and incredible. Photoshoots, in particular, can be transformative experiences: they foster gratitude, acceptance, empowerment, and the strengthening of intuition.
I’m so grateful to do this as my career and to meet the incredible people whose stories deserve to be heard by the world. No one is truly alone; isolation is an illusion created by systems that benefit from our disconnection. But we rise above it, innovating new ways to connect.
Introducing "BEcoming – Journey to Self: 4 Seasons Collection"
The deadline to join this transformative project is February 14! Photoshoots will begin with the option to start your annual collection in either Winter or Spring. I’ll be sharing more details here soon, but here’s a sneak peek:
Year-round access to workshops and events for every season.
Curated, themed, and styled shoots with priority access to incorporate into your annual collection.
A special mid-year gift reading to track your progress and growth.
Spots are limited, as we’re currently a small team of two—so don’t wait! Email us HERE to secure your place and say hello to our lovely assistant in the inbox.
Thank you all for reading and supporting us as we navigate this space and expand our offerings. We’re thrilled to announce that we’ll be growing our presence on YouTube and other platforms beyond Meta in the coming year. Stay tuned for more details on that soon!
Amanda
Blocked Energy: How Bottled Emotions Disrupt Your Spiritual Flow
There is a coined term called ‘spiritual hygiene’ which refers to ones cleanliness pertaining to their energy, grounding and protecting oneself regularly just as one brushes their teeth, bathe their body or wear protective clothing from environmental harms. Thinking of this in terms of emotions and the internal world (like self talk) helps clarify just how important this can be in daily life. When we have a bad day, or wake up in a bad mood, it’s easy to find ways to confirm it throughout the day. ‘All red lights, great! Today of all days, how much worse can this get?’ Then they seem to accumulate in small ways like spilling the coffee or dealing with a rude or co-worker. It seems like the day will spiral and doesn’t seem to get better.
Just as we wash off dirt and sweat, spiritual hygiene helps cleanse the emotional and energetic layers that accumulate through interactions, environments, and even our own thoughts. It keeps us feeling balanced, clear-headed, and connected to our inner peace, helping us show up authentically, make decisions confidently, and stay aligned with our true selves. We can face daily challenges like those red lights or rude customers that leave a negative and draining residue on our energy, into moments of feeling grateful rather than becoming the new owner and carrying it around.
How do we begin to feel grateful for being slowed down on the way to work or for interacting with someone rude? If we look at it in terms of our brain chemistry it can be a simple switch flip. We unknowingly give our brain a task with a statement like ‘how much worse can things get’ kicking our brain off into gathering all evidence throughout the day to confirm that thought. Luckily it only takes mild self-discipline to override those default settings by framing the question differently.
By switching from a ‘world is happening to me’ state of mind to one where there are opportunities everywhere, things change pretty fast when we instead ask something like ‘things are happening for me’. Leading with more assurance and curiosity helps us elevate to who we want to be instead of confirming what isn’t working. No longer controlled by the situations around us and becoming someone where life comes from them , not at them.
The energy we embody have a profound impact on our experience in the world. From the relationships in our life, people we meet, to daily decisions big or small (like what to eat or how to care for ourselves). It’s a universal experience that humans have learned to care and neglect ourselves. When it comes to self-neglect, suppressing our needs or ignoring emotional signals our body is alerting us to investigate sets off a string of events inside the physical body. Check out our blog here showcasing what that looks like in a deep dive into how our brain and nervous system are effected by emotional repression. It doesn’t just stop with physical symptoms, our spiritual health alters, rendering the world around us. And there are 12 spiritual laws that exist in showing us how shaping the world around us is not about what we do but who we are is matched by energies around us.
There are 12 main spiritual laws, each a universal principle or truth that governs the unseen, spiritual aspects of life. These laws are often viewed as timeless and consistent, much like physical laws (e.g., gravity), but they operate on a metaphysical level, affecting our thoughts, emotions, and connections to ourselves, others, and the universe. Like a frog in a pond, ripples begin to form from the frog and expands out into the environment around it.
Universal laws are not biased, applying to all walks of life, of all background of beliefs. Spiritual laws are non-physical, they are interacted through intention, thought and energy and can encourage in our daily life to align with love, abundance and truth of desired positives outcomes. For example a gratitude journal is in alignment with the law of abundance or law of attraction and bring positive experiences.
I first learned about spiritual laws through my therapist who mentioned the law of attraction often in our sessions when coaching my business. I noticed there was a inner resistance in my chest, throat and stomach as she explained it to me, my immediate thought was resentment and anger . At the time I struggled deeply with my CPTSD, believing the world owed me something after all the abuse and misfortune I endured from childhood and years following. The thought of being on the receiving end of such unwarranted abuse and attempting to form a connection to ‘our thoughts and emotions create our reality’ actually really pissed me off. It felt like someone was telling me I deserved or asked for the treatment. Setting off an inner wound of unworthiness. But here is how she explained it:
The Law of Attraction doesn’t mean you ever ‘deserved’ pain, abuse, or mistreatment. Unfortunately, we live in a world where people’s wounds and traumas sometimes cause them to harm others. Abuse from unhealed people is never a reflection of your worth or something you ‘attracted’—it’s a reflection of their unprocessed pain, which is completely outside of your control.
What the Law of Attraction does mean is that, moving forward, you can empower yourself by shifting focus to things that bring you a sense of peace, healing, and self-compassion. The goal is not to ignore what happened but to consciously create a life that honors your strength and resilience, free from others' baggage. Your life’s path is your own, and healing can be a powerful way to move beyond that pain and call in the people, places, and experiences that truly respect and uplift you.
Looking at them individually here is what they mean in a victim mindset and what they could mean with an empowered one.
1. The Law of Divine Oneness
Victim Mode: We feel isolated, disconnected, and powerless, believing that life happens to us rather than seeing our interconnectedness with others.
Victor Mode: We see how we’re all connected, understanding that our thoughts, actions, and energy impact others and vice versa. This mindset encourages empathy and empowers us to shape our reality in unity with others.
2. The Law of Vibration
Victim Mode: We feel stuck in low-vibrational emotions like anger or sadness and might believe there’s no way out, reinforcing a sense of helplessness.
Victor Mode: We realize that we can shift our vibration by focusing on higher emotions like gratitude and love. We understand that raising our vibration attracts better experiences, allowing us to become more intentional creators of our lives.
3. The Law of Correspondence
Victim Mode: We believe our external circumstances define us and feel stuck because we think external change is impossible without internal change.
Victor Mode: We acknowledge that our inner world shapes our outer reality. By changing our mindset, beliefs, and self-perception, we can create a new reality that reflects our growth and empowerment.
4. The Law of Attraction
Victim Mode: We feel frustrated, believing that we’re attracting negativity through no fault of our own, which amplifies the victim mentality.
Victor Mode: We recognize the power of our thoughts, emotions, and intentions in attracting our experiences. By focusing on what we want rather than what we fear, we actively create a life of positivity and fulfillment.
5. The Law of Inspired Action
Victim Mode: We feel paralyzed or passive, hoping that change will come without any effort on our part, leading to inaction and further stagnation.
Victor Mode: We understand that action, guided by intuition, is key to manifesting our goals. This empowers us to move forward, making choices aligned with our highest potential, and trusting the process.
6. The Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy
Victim Mode: We may feel like our circumstances will never improve, not realizing that energy and situations are constantly changing.
Victor Mode: We know that even the smallest positive shift can lead to significant change. We take responsibility for our energy, transforming it to overcome challenges and cultivate a sense of hope.
7. The Law of Cause and Effect
Victim Mode: We may believe we’re suffering without reason or that life is unfair, blaming external sources for our pain.
Victor Mode: We recognize that every choice has a consequence, allowing us to make decisions aligned with our goals. We take ownership of our actions, empowering ourselves to create positive outcomes.
8. The Law of Compensation
Victim Mode: We feel resentful, believing that our hard work or efforts are unrecognized and unappreciated.
Victor Mode: We trust that all energy we put out will return to us in some form. This faith encourages us to continue putting positive actions into the world, knowing that the universe rewards sincere efforts.
9. The Law of Relativity
Victim Mode: We may compare ourselves unfavorably to others, feeling inadequate or inferior and seeing our challenges as worse than everyone else’s.
Victor Mode: We see our challenges as opportunities for growth, learning from them rather than resenting them. We understand that experiences are relative, helping us appreciate our journey and view setbacks as steps forward.
10. The Law of Polarity
Victim Mode: We focus on what’s wrong, feeling that life is filled with problems and seeing no way out of our circumstances.
Victor Mode: We realize that everything has an opposite. By recognizing and embracing contrast, we understand that challenges help us appreciate and create positive outcomes, giving us hope and perspective.
11. The Law of Rhythm
Victim Mode: We feel overwhelmed by life’s ups and downs, resisting change and seeing ourselves as unlucky or cursed during difficult times.
Victor Mode: We accept life’s natural rhythms, understanding that low points are temporary and will eventually cycle into highs. This acceptance allows us to embrace change with resilience and optimism.
12. The Law of Gender
Victim Mode: We may feel out of balance, leaning too heavily on either passive or aggressive energy, and feel stuck in specific roles or expectations.
Victor Mode: We balance our masculine (doing) and feminine (being) energies, allowing us to act when necessary and rest when needed. This balance creates harmony and aligns us with our true nature.
In victor mode, we align with these laws to reclaim our power, seeing every challenge as an opportunity to evolve, learn, and ultimately thrive. Recognizing this shift transforms our lives, allowing us to experience true empowerment through our conscious connection to each of these universal principles.
Authenticity does not just mean feel safe to be yourself, but creating balance in what you need right now to experience true sense of inner peace. Accepting situations as they are, allowing them to guide and form your ability to detach from beliefs that once hindered that access into a version of yourself that is not only comfortable being themselves but understands it’s imperative to being in harmony. To know survival mode is to also know everything is temporary and will balance, but it is up to us to practice and embody it. What you’re not changing, you’re choosing.
What are some ways you have invoked these laws for something desired and didn’t realize it at the time?
Amanda Lopez is a Central Texas Introspective Photographer, merging art with the human experience to guide you to your highest form.
Inquire here or email inquiries HELLO@frenchpressphoto.com
Interconnected subjects
How to address these concerns and ways to regulate the body from day to day techniques to more intensive therapy options. Coming Soon.
Science | pressed emotions - what happens when it steeps too long? Visit the blog here.
SCIENCE | PRESSED EMOTIONS - What happens when it steeps too long?
‘Knees weak, arms are heavy. I’m nervous.’
But what’s going on for real?
There is a common belief that crying is a sign of weakness, that it’s unprofessional and inappropriate, and emotions like anger and sadness are ‘bad’, or that emotions should always be ‘controlled’. Culturally it’s understandable, we live life by these conditions, a over productive society aiming for maximum gain, it doesn’t have time or the ability to nurture you in stressful times.
Common expressions like "picking yourself up by the bootstraps" may sound appealing on the surface. Yes, the idea of resiliency and determination are definitely qualities that are important and admirable, but somewhere along the way, its meaning has evolved into ignoring and stuffing down the feels that come with hardship and tribulations. I guess "pick yourself up by the bootstraps after a good cry" doesn’t quite have the same appeal to most, but it should. Our health and ability to persevere are literally dependent on the extent to which we can regulate ourselves to even allow our brain to achieve this goal. Let me explain...
Emotional repression vs. expression has played out a lot of key differences in my own quality of life. My early years living out days when emotional repression was an exchange for acceptance and ‘love’. (conditional not unconditional as I learned later) this looked like not asking for what I need, unable to criticize my parents parenting, or even asking a simple question. (Because in a toxic and abusive household these things were known to cause a negative reaction from emotionally immature people.) I was miserable, my ADHD was amplified, memory suffered, focus in school was non existent and was prone to emotional outbursts. (of course only in private and in silence)
About a decade later, I was face to face with all of my repressed rage and emotions when I joined a self-defense gym. Thank god I answered that intuitive call to try it out because it was the premission slip I needed to open the door to my inner world. It became obvious that the uncomfortable and down right yucky feeling of simply saying ‘Stop, get back’ to the fictional assailant, let me know my parents did a wonderful job in silencing my voice. I was too afraid to speak up for myself, my voice was not there. I had to fight through discomfort and repressed memories of abuse to find it, it was one of the most difficult thing I have done. Luckily my mentors supported me as I started allowing it to bubble up, even when I wanted to stop they kept pushing me to push through it.
I started feeling lighter, like the weight of carrying all those emotions was being taken off block by block. I was more expressive, smiling more, could even breathe easier, and I started to see the effect on the relationships in my life. A great topic for another day.
Expressing my repressed emotions in addition to honoring the difficult ones that surfaced day to day allowed my body the opportunity to regulate stress a bit better. Bit by bit I would be hit with a sudden realization like ‘wow, I handled that really well, better than I ever have …’ or ‘ I just spoke up for myself and don’t feel as anxious vs if I had kept that in…’ I was interested to know what is going on in my body when I bottle up emotions, and the amazing community of like-minded self-healers did too. So here you will find some pretty fascinating science that may invite you to second guess ignoring those tough emotions the next time they bubble up.
Chronic Stress = Disrupted Cortisol Hormones
When we decided to ignore or stuff down difficult and heavy emotions a stress response is signaled in the body by the brain, activating the sympathetic nervous system and triggering a fight or flight response. Taking a deeper look, the hypothalamus sends signals to the adrenal and pituitary glands to release adrenaline and cortisol throughout the body, prompting it to handle a perceived threat. Blood pressure rises with this increase in adrenaline and cortisol, even causing breathing to become shallow.
Unfortunately, suppressing emotions and not expressing your needs continues this response cycle in the body, creating a negative feedback loop. You have now entered chronic stress territory, with dysregulated cortisol levels and the overextension of your body trying to keep up with the stress demand.
Introducing the HPA axis! An interconnected three-way call with the hypothalamus (in the brain), the Pituitary gland (also in the brain), and the adrenal glands (above your kidneys) is a response system that regulates hormones in your body. When it comes to chronic stress, these glands can become overworked, and that's not good for several reasons. For my IBS girls—especially you Capricorns, notoriously known to be lifetime members of the IBS club—it can be a byproduct of a dysregulated HPA axis. We know you know everything, but the stress of it is literally giving your tummy problems, babe.
Since the HPA axis is working overtime, it takes away your body’s ability to distribute other hormones, including those that focus on digestion, immune responses, and reproduction. For the girls again, this can mean a delay in your menses, and the immune system gets compromised—all because of constantly elevated levels of cortisol from stress.
Compromised Ability to Heal Faster
We have to get into the fact that the immune system gets compromised when your body experiences large amounts of stress. Over 80% of physician visits are actually for socio-emotional issues. THAT’S ACTUALLY NUTS! We let some emotionally stunted twats tell us that emotions are weak. Babe, I literally can’t afford the doctor visit. STFU if you’re not paying those bills. Here is a breakdown of what happens inside the body when this occurs.
We know the HPA axis is working overtime, and that comes with a set of symptoms as a reaction. The chronic stress of overproduction of cortisol is doing several things inside the body, particularly pertaining to the nervous system. With cortisol levels being consistently elevated, it starts to deactivate the immune system by lowering the production of T cells, B cells, and NK (natural killer) cells, which are crucial for signaling and fighting off pathogens in the body. If that weren’t enough, it also lowers healthy white blood cell production and function. These cells are super important because they are the heroes in fighting off cancerous cells.
Lastly, there are protein cells called cytokines, which act as signals to the immune system to alert it to threatening cells. Their function is also lowered, allowing cancerous cells to grow unacknowledged. And for the cherry on top, there is a decrease in immunoglobulins, which are the antibodies in the body that help detect and address threatening cells. The whole system is compromised; there is a reduction in function and production, signaling, and attacking when our body is coping with emotional buildup and staying in a constant fight-or-flight mode.
Brain Reshaping
Like IBS, immune system failure, and a delayed periods weren’t enough, wait until you hear about how you are literally changing the shape of your brain. THE FUCKING BRAIN! Ok, look, the main parts involved when your body is trying to cope with the suppression of heavy emotional responses are the hippocampus—responsible for memory and emotional regulation—the amygdala, which processes emotions, especially fear—and the prefrontal cortex, which regulates and controls emotions. I was a little confused too, but thank goodness for Chat! I asked it what the dang difference is between the hippocampus and the prefrontal cortex. Do they both control emotions? What’s the difference?
This is what she said: while they both play roles in emotional regulation, they differ in how. The hippocampus contextualizes emotions based on past experiences and memories, while the prefrontal cortex is responsible for enacting our ability to pause and assess logically before choosing an emotional reaction.
So when I matched the energy to someone who disrespected me, it was a prefrontal cortex decision, not my hippocampus hun. Calling you an “emotionally immature dick” with all my inner passion was a conscious choice, not a trigger. xo
With prolonged emotional repression, trauma, and chronic stress, your hippocampus gets smaller, impairing memory and its ability to contextualize memories accurately. Meanwhile, the amygdala gets bigger, making it hypersensitive and causing it to overreact to emotional stimuli, increasing fear and initiating the “fight or flight” response. This makes it super difficult to regulate your emotions, especially during a PTSD trigger, perpetuating emotional distress and increasing anxiety and fear. HIT IT, HPA! And on and on it goes. It’s not doing you any favors keeping it in; it just makes matters worse.
Allostatic Load = the Compromised nervous system
Allostatic load on the nervous system is the cumulative wear and tear on the body from chronic stress and the body’s repetitive attempts to address and repair it. It’s simply too much for the body to handle after extended amounts of time. It overloads and exhausts the body, then several things start to happen…
On top of the brain's restructuring, the nervous system, due to dysregulation, struggles to activate the body's ability to switch to rest and digest mode from fight or flight. This balance is imperative for the body’s stress management in survival mode. This means your inability to relax is your body’s impairment in switching on your parasympathetic system. This brings on physical AND mental health repercussions, such as:
Mental Health Challenges:
Anxiety
Depression
Cognitive Decline and Brain Fog
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Bipolar Disorder
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
and more
This creates a vicious cycle, as mental health issues can further exacerbate stress responses.
Physical Health Consequences:
Cardiovascular disease
Obesity
Diabetes
Immune system dysfunction
Chronic inflammation
I must warn everyone,
This mass of information about health conditions from emotional repression may be overwhelming, and your brain may even want to dissociate, blur out these words, or simply let them float away, unable to conceptualize it. I encourage you to copy this link to revisit with a clear head, soon! This is so important; it hurts my brain too, seeing it all laid out here, worried about how it may be received (or not received at all). It’s so easy not to take seriously the words on a screen, but I write this to you with love and concern for the overall well-being of the collective, and as someone who suffers from C-PTSD, to please take back your power…
You are not a lost cause; it’s not impossible to do. Yes, it’s hard work, but we all have choices. Our brains are hardwired to keep you “safe,” even if it means not taking any of this to heart because it’s too heavy for your brain to receive and may be perceive it as threatening. Listen to your intuition; it knows exactly what you need to do despite the fear.
Simply put, no matter how dark or ugly the emotions bubble up, it is your body’s physical response to release them in order to function properly. It wants to let them go, so I will leave you with this:
You can keep running from those heavy emotions, but they’re not going anywhere. Every time you suppress them, they grow louder beneath the surface, chipping away at your mental and physical well-being. Ignoring them doesn't make you stronger—it leaves you carrying invisible baggage that drags you down, poisoning your peace and your relationships. The fear of facing those emotions might feel overwhelming, but pretending they don’t exist is slowly suffocating your ability to heal and move forward. The truth is, you can’t bury what’s alive inside you. Eventually, it will erupt. The question is, do you want to be in control of your healing, or do you want your mental health and relationships destroyed when those emotions finally explode? It’s time to confront them, because avoiding them is the real danger.
Amanda Lopez is a Central Texas Introspective Photographer, merging art with the human experience to guide you to your highest form.
Inquire here or email inquiries HELLO@frenchpressphoto.com
Interconnected subjects
How to address these concerns and ways to regulate the body from day to day techniques to more intensive therapy options. Coming Soon.
Spiritually energetic means of supressing emotions. HERE.
Transmuting Catalyst Life Moments | Allies Story
Dark photography, though not novel, is a recent exploration for me. I've always been drawn to it, perhaps because I was born into a dark childhood, making it a more familiar energy. Yet, I believe it enables us to feel seen in a way that is pure, authentic, raw, and relatable. It holds the power to reveal our humanity—our shared experiences of pain and growth. It becomes essential to view each other as fellow humans navigating life's challenges. To be able to say, 'Here I am, revealing the parts of me that I fear may lead to rejection and lack of love,' and in response, hear, 'I see you. I love you. Thank you for being you. I want to share my story too...' This creates a ripple effect of vulnerability and healing, fostering a space where judgment for our pain points is replaced by hearts extended in solidarity and support.
It's a unique form of community building. I am honored to share the space with Allie, who courageously laid bare the pain she was experiencing in life, and I wish to convey her story to you
— ALLIE’S STORY —
“I continued talk therapy, however, a year after my breakup, I was still hitting a brick wall. I was mad and angry. I wanted retribution; I wanted justice for what was done to me. It felt very much like God had orchestrated the dismantling of my life without warning and without my consent, and it wasn’t fair. I wanted everyone to know what happened to me. So much so, I started trauma dumping on the lady in the crystal store (totally not cool)! I felt like I needed another alternative if I was truly able to move forward. And that’s when I found Amanda and the beautiful services she offered!
Amanda was willing to not only bear witness to my grief, but she was offering to capture it. To be able to share it with others. I was finally able to show people and say, “See! This is what I was going through! This is what it felt like to have my life taken away from me!” So often in my life, I have been told it’s okay to be sad, but not for too long, and not if you’re going to be sad in front of other people. And I think why I kept hitting my brick wall and wanting this exposure to be seen is because it meant something to me and I didn’t want to forget.
I’ve often said that, in the most dramatic of terms, this was my metaphorical death. I wanted it to mean something because my lost life held significance. Even if God himself didn’t find worth in it, so much so that he took it away, it still held meaning for me. The woman who grieved its loss meant something, and I didn’t want her to be pushed aside, swept under the rug, and forgotten. She deserves to be honored and remembered for giving so much of herself, for this life she desperately wanted, giving all of herself until there was nothing left.
For about eight months after receiving the pictures from Amanda, I kept them to myself. I would occasionally look at them, cry, hold space for myself, or marvel at the macabre beauty of it all. It served as a promise to myself not to allow this same type of destruction and despair to happen again. When I was ready, I posted the pictures along with my story on social media. As a major life event for me - a clear defining moment with a concrete before and after - it deserved a spot among my other life events.
I can’t further describe the meaning of these pictures for me. It was an act of defiance against God, who took something dear from me, and against society, which told me to stop grieving for so long. It was a memorial service for my past self that I never got and a way for me to carry my grief outside of myself. I am forever grateful to Amanda for providing this opportunity for me to continue my healing journey and for bearing witness to my grief.”
It is genuinely powerful and beautiful to witness how, over time, this experience has bestowed upon her increasing clarity, considering I've heard two distinct narratives. There's the tale from our initial encounter and the one she shares today. My heart swelled with emotion as our first call concluded, and in that moment, I knew I was compelled to creatively contribute everything within my capacity to bring her a semblance of healing. It transcends mere aesthetics; it embodies profound symbolism. The resonance of that experience remains close to my heart, one among many I aspire to facilitate. I understand.
Amanda
Owner of French Press Photographie
Interested in the experience for yourself? You can book a free consult with Amanda HERE.
Taking Back Your Power | CONSUMER EDITION
I would be doing everyone a disservice if all I only talked about was how to look their best on camera, followed by sexy lingerie websites to shop and poses to do.
When I started calling in more self-confidence there are a few key things I learned I was not expecting but helped me immensely to feel like I can start having more control in my life, therefore, feeling more confident in myself.
Feeling confident is more than how we look on the outside, it’s taking command of our life when we have allowed others to do the driving for us. From controlling family members, to the food we eat, the mainstream information we consume, to the products that we rely on to make us look our best, when we opt for others to make that decision for us we give away our power of choice. The decisions being made for us are not always in our best interest. If you take a moment to look a little closer, you may find that some things do not actually align with your needs and values. Here are 3 things to look into and how to make a change being a consumer:
Beauty & Cleaning Products | Clean or Toxic?
The Food You Eat | Where it Comes From
Companies that Support What you Stand By
Beauty & Cleaning Products | Clean or Toxic?
We know the food we eat plays a huge part of how we feel day to day. You may also know that some foods aren’t exactly what they claim to be or do as they are advertised. For example, the 90’s ‘Fat-Free’ trend that seemed to be on nearly every type of food at the grocer. Only to later find out research showed it lead to a rise of health risks with the overconsumption in sugar. Grouping all, healthy and saturated fats, into one category and launching a campaign demonizing it, doing the opposite of what it was intended for.
The major processed food industry has made it clear they follow trends and do not have you or my healths in their best interest. I am not going to sit on a soap box and say eat a well balance meal. Thats harder than it seems, whether the organic produce is too costly, or ignoring each and every individuals health and allergen requirements. What you can do is start scanning your foods…
When you go the store, scan your favorite items and see what ingredients are in them. Chances are some may have long and complicated names we do not understand and this app will break it down simply to what you need to know about it.
The app is called YUKA, I use it so much in store my husband Jason has started asking me to scan items he’s looking to buy to make sure it’s not toxic. Something he actually use to poke fun at me for. Oh how the turntables.
If you are someone who wears makeup, ESPECIALLY often, use this app to scan your beauty products. If you are a person with a uterus, you should know what products are a endocrine disrupters, causing major hormone imbalances in your body. You’ll be shocked to find how many rate so low, sadly. I have had to say good-bye to items I loved, realizing my mood and hormonal health would be better off if I stopped buying that flawless concealer I loved so much. That is reality of the trade-offs we make.
Endocrine disruptors are harmful chemicals that can be found in food, water and many consumer products.
Use the Think Dirty App to find swaps for toxic home cleaning products.
They disrupt our hormone system, which can lead to a wide range of significant health harms.
These harms include reproductive issues like changes to fertility, early puberty and risk of low birth weight, obesity, diabetes, immune system impacts, cardiovascular and respiratory problems, some types of cancer, and neurological and behavioral problems. The developing fetus, infants and children are especially vulnerable, since their physiological systems are still developing.
- From Environmental Working Group . org
'“Take a moment to ask yourself how many products you use in a typical day. Cream, lotion, deodorant, soap, perfume, makeup, lip balm? Now ask yourself how many ingredients are in those products. According to a survey conducted by the Environmental Working Group, the average person uses 9 products daily, which contain 126 unique ingredients. This wouldn’t be so concerning if the ingredients in our cosmetics were actually regulated. You heard me: safety tests are not required for the cosmetic industry!”
- From Non Toxic Revolution . org
THIS IS HUGE because this can mean your moods swings and moments of feeling disconnected from yourself could be rooted in the products you use. By no means am I promising this is the solution, but a call to action to start investigating ways to start clearing out the toxins in your life and bring clarity to make your next move to feeling yourself again. When our number one organ that absorbs the most is our skin, it matters the cosmetics we buy.
The food you eat | Where it comes from
This means for foods as well. Of course, always support your local farmers market and farmers, minimizing overly-processed foods where you can. Be curious and ask questions,
‘Are your animals humanly raised and allowed pastures to roam freely?’
“Is this bread made with flour that is glyphosate-free?’
‘Are any sprays used on the produce?’
Nobody is perfect, every now and again I can’t resist a salty bag of chips, but I play a mindful eye on my weekly meals to balance out my childhood favorite foods, and you can do the same. I get it, going cold turkey is challenging. You don’t have to be perfect, but making some small changes may make a world of a difference for your daily mood.
A toxin like glyphosate is unfortunately in a laundry list of foods that can be easily found in anything wheat germ. Glyphosate is the World’s most used Herbicide, a probable human carcinogen, declared by the world health organization.
It flat out sucks to know glyphosate is in nearly all foods in mass produced foods, check out the resources below to find ways to make some swaps. Personally, I love to bake, so I will purchase flour from out of the country where glyphosate has been banned so that I can continue making my baked goods at home. Just because what you use is toxic doesn’t mean you have to give up what you love.
companies that support what you stand by
In a world where it often feels like it’s on fire and ending, you can still vote with your dollar. Checking in with your values and morals, check to see what your favorite companies support. Yes, it’s easy to feel helpless in some cases, but take you power where you can get it. Scan the products with buycott and see what your dollar is being used for. Then walk around like the badass you are, knowing you’re sending your money what you feel matters to help the world, and yourself.
Ignorance is bliss, knowledge is power.
Do what you can, where you can. Your health, your emotional and mental state will determine what kind of day you’re going to have. Clean out the mess, what doesn’t serve you and whats going to put your health at risk. And a ‘fuck you’ to the companies that lie and sneakily trick you into thinking something is good for you when it clearly is not. Take back your power, know what works for YOU. Consume with your health in mind.
BELOW YOU WILL FIND MY PERSONAL SWAPS I FOUND MOST IMPORTANT FOR SKIN ABSORBTION
RESOURCES AND LINKS
“How our Skin Absorbs Toxic Chemicals...”
“What are Endocrine Disrupters? ”
“10 Things to Know About Glyphosate ”
Sugar & Salt
**Trigger Warning. This blog talks about childhood trauma and abuse.
Waking up to what’s happening in your sub-concious is truly like the Matrix movie, once you take the red pill you can’t go back.
Being aware of my own sub-concious, has been enlightening and lousy. My biggest motivator is never wanting to purposely hurt people as a result of my actions stemmed from trauma. It’s hard to turn deeply into yourself, making sense of habits that are long standing. For one, facing self-sabotaging habits is uncomfortable. It takes a lot of brain power and once I can finally get close enough to start understanding a self-sabatoging habit, my brain kicks into survival-mode. It distracts itself to avoid reliving the past, so it comes up with creative ways to avoid it.
I had enough with the repeative cycle, so I sit down to journal it out. This one in particular being triggered continuously was overdue to be examined. So I start off by writing…
‘I have a fear of wasting time and I dont know why…’
I write down how it makes me feel, giving the journal my two-cents, that I’m sick of this pattern repeating itself. Then…
A question pops up
“What is the first memory associated with this fear and feeling? What’s the earliest you can remember?”
I start writing. ‘That time I made the chocolate chip cookies…’
My childhood was to put it frankly, miserable after about age 8. Thats when the physical abuse started. I had more responsibilities and was forced to grow up, fast! Something I think a lot of eldest daughters in religious and strong cultural backgrounds can relate to. I didn’t get to do what a lot of other kids my age could do, especially alone. So when my parents left to run errands my cinderella cleaning duties were handed to me. One of those weekend days I committed to the idea to rush through my cleaning list to bake some cookies all on my own. Something I had been wanting to do for a while, but was told not to.
I knew it was a risk, there was absolutely no room for mistakes, I had to get this right or else it was my ass on the line. Growing up poor and with emotionally unstable parents, there was no room for error or else, ‘punishment’. Luckily my mother has a sweet tooth, so long as they came out good, I knew I’d be alright.
I cleaned the entire 3 bedroom house alone. Scrub the tubs, sinks, mirrors, sweep, mop twice, always mop twice. Dust surfaces, remove EVERYTHING first, vacuum the house, polish the chairs with Pledge, if your ass doesn’t slip off, polish more … I’d always be sweating by the end of it all, but committing to making cookies if enough time was left over gave me something to look forward to.
I had some time leftover after finishing up with the last task of dusting and polishing! I grabbed the chocolate chip bag out of the pantry and got started. I followed the recipe on the back of the package to the T! I made sure all the measurements were perfect and the baking time was set. I put them in the oven to bake, so it was just a matter of waiting patiently. My anxiety starts growing, I knew my mom would be home any minute, it had been just over 3 hours, their usual errand run time. Then the universal sign to panic switched on, the garage door was opening.
I took my breathes, panicked and took the cookies out so she could see them. She can’t get mad using ‘her’ ingredients if the cookies are freshly assaulting her nose. I set them ontop the stove and my eyes are beaming. They looked fantastic, better than the picture! Slightly underdone, like I like them. I take a piece as a reward before meeting mom at the door, but...
I simply wanted to die when that warm cookie hit my taste buds.
They were so salty! Like, you spit it out because they’re uneditable salty! Unholy amount of salt! I knew right away there was no possible way of fixing them. ‘You are so fucked!’, I thought.
I start running my memory, figuring out what went wrong, it was obvious the mistake, I measured the salt as sugar, but how?! I drag my feet to the door, my stomach turning into itself, and help bring in her grocery haul. The moment her eyes meet that stove, it will be over. I’m under heat. I make my way with the bags to the kitchen, mother followed behind me and spots them.
The interrogation begins. Then the usual consequences. Mom lectures, 10 minutes turn to 30, to an hour and so on. I am forced to mutate into a statue and not make any sudden moves. When she is like this, anything, and I mean anything sets her off. Scratching my legs from standing still for so long extends the yelling into a 2 hour session, other-times more. Anything to indicate I was dissociating she would attack me. “AM I BORING YOU?!” as she lunges towards me, often times pinning me and my arms to the ground, slapping and hitting me so I can’t defend myself. This would always result in me isolating in my room to cry silently behind my bed or inside my closet. Depending on how bad things got, it could be several days until she could look at me again. When it got that bad, I would be completely exiled from the family, feeling like a criminal. My mother even telling my siblings not to talk or look at me.
Doing something as simple as messing up cookies, or cleaning something ‘wrong’ would feel like life or death. It could be a few slaps across the face, or my presence not to be seen in the house. (Can’t call it home, you’re supposed to feel safe in your home.) Eating dinner alone, head down while my back faces the living room where they have family time, laughing and conversing as if I am not behind them. My mother even putting empty aluminum cans outside my door when they’d leave to have outings, to ensure I didn’t leave my room. I felt like a prisoner most of the time growing up.
It’s not fun to talk about. But as I write this all down in my journal, I realize this is where it started. This feeling of no matter how hard I work, how fast I get that work done and how perfect I try to make it, it’ll never work out and I can risk total rejection. ‘You will have wasted time, energy, money and resources, and it’s just not worth the risk.’ I close my journal and stare off in thought. ‘I have to make this into a shoot.’ It’s the only way I know to take back some of my power or at least start to.
With nearly 2 years of EMDR therapy sessions under my belt, paired with my creative brain, turning the cookie incident into a photo visual could be the start of healing it. Healing the narrative around it, and healing my child self from the punishments she had to go through when she was too scared to stick up for herself.
I asked myself what do I want my younger self to know with these images?
‘You’re safe to work towards goals and creative ideas…
You’re allowed to make mistakes and still be worthy of love and compassion.’
That’s what young Amanda needed at the time. To know she was allowed to explore, be creative, make mistakes and still be worthy of love and compassion even if it meant stepping outside of the box. No matter if it is all salty. She is simply worthy. Young A was scared and fearful of getting punished for doing something as small as tap into her creativity, it was scary for her to take risks. It was scary to EXIST! I have scars today to validate her fears. Her feeling like she was not allowed to simply live is all changing. We will bake our little hearts out, take as many pictures we want, we will be creative, we will be risk takers and I will protect her fiercely while we do it.
Transmutation of that energy, with photos to show for it. A reminder that our power is back where it belongs, and there is no one that can tell us different. There are so many ways to heal, why not try them all, if it means she feels safe and loved. Heal the inside and make our way out. To close the chapter of my life dictated by triggers, surviving then coping with them. I’m not sure what the space beyond this chapter looks like, the only thing I really want is inner peace. Everything in life around me will energetically shift to that level of frequency or at least that’s the goal.
What is Photoshoot Transmutation?
Sometimes I feel as if my messaging might not be very clear, like I might be confusing everyone. The truth is, being a photographer and someone extremely passionate about the healing journey, the line gets blurry. I’m learning how to bridge the two together and there’s nothing I have found that I can model after to ensure I’m doing it ‘right’. Everything is light and darkness, and everything in between and I frequently remind myself of that even during this journey. That I may not always get it ‘right’ when it comes to connecting to you, my audience, and sending the clear message of what the art is about.
Honestly, it’s a lot of things, it can not be contained, but if I were to narrow it down to a common denominator, it would be connecting with yourself. It can be done sexually, sensually, angerly, passionately, calmly. We sometimes hinder our own growth by thinking only inside of the box we were given growing up . And since we have spent so much time there, we forget there are more ways to experiencing joy and introspectiveness. We limit ourselves, we allowed the conditioning to convince us we can not remove the binds.
Here is a clients words on their experience using photography to transmute grief from a life altering event to experience joy again in her life.
TW: grief, rage
Today is a special day for me; it marks two years since a significant event happened which lead to a domino effect that took me to the lowest point in my life. Needless to say the past couple of years have not been fun. I had to deconstruct an entire belief system, the future I envisioned for myself had completely disappeared and I was consumed by grief, rage and dispare.
In the most dramatic of ways and terminology, I feel like I have witnessed my own death. I am no longer the person I was.
Today I have a new life, new boundaries, new belief system, new future- all of which I have worked really hard to obtain and it’s all something that I am extremely proud of. And even despite the bitterness I still feel about my journey, most of which occurred by myself, (even out of the eyesight of my inner circle) I can now look at it with some gratitude- because without my grief I could not be on my way to experience true joy.
I had the honor of working with Amanda at @frenchpressphoto who 8 months ago did a phenomenal job capturing my sacred grief and rage. I wanted to share these pictures, not only to show how far I have come, how much I have healed, but to truly bear witness to my journey.
The person in these pictures, the broken, crumpled up version of myself, is sacrosanct, and now as I stand in my own power, I want to honor her today and reclaim this day as my own. That today marks the two year anniversary of the Universe saving me from a life I would have hated, and given me the opportunity to resurrect it in a way that is purely aligned with me. ✨
What are you thoughts on a photoshoot to help transmute energy for self-clarity?
- Amanda
Shadow Work For When You Feel Out of Control In Life
Ever feel like your reactions are extreme? Maybe you feel like something is wrong with you because you often feel irritable, short-tempered, impatient, and lack empathy. There isn’t anything wrong, there’s just some fine-tuning that can be helpful.
We are not inherently bad or mean people, we lose touch with our highest self because life loves to be messy. More often than not we were not given the tools to self-regulate and care for ourselves in the way that we truly need.
There are so many avenues of healing and becoming aligned with yourself, and one way is shadow work.
In 2017, I took a self-defense class that turned into a full-time hobby. I learned about holding spacial boundaries in dangerous situations and how to react to them. Still, it ended up being a gateway to holding that same energy in my relationships with friends, family, and myself. How to learn about myself so that I could speak up for myself in more ways than just “STOP! GET BACK!”
One avenue I stand by is Shadow Work and for those of you who are ready to dive in but need somewhere to start, I have some here for you.
Please keep in mind shadow work is diving into the sides of yourself you hide away and don’t or won’t acknowledge. It’s often draped in shame and left alone. But these are the sides that surface as irritability, lack of compassion, and reactive like mentioned above. The goal is to shine light/awareness onto it, and uncover what is is and where it comes from so that we can nurture it in the way it’s screaming at us to.
It can be emotional, challenging, and heartbreaking to face these facets of ourselves. But healing and growth are not easy or comfortable, or else there wouldn’t be so many hurtful people in the world. This is not for the weak-minded.
SHADOW WORK PROMPTS FOR WHEN YOU FEEL OUT OF CONTROL IN LIFE
If you met yourself for the first time, what would be your first impressions?
How would your loved ones describe you? Are they accurate? Why or why not?
What emotions am I seeking to be met when I seek others’ approval?
When in my life did I first feel emotionally invalidated?
What did I need to hear instead?
In what ways can I fulfill this need on a regular basis?
Make a list of your positive traits and negative traits. What are some things you can do to strengthen your positive traits? How can you start healing your negative traits?
How do you handle stress?
(some prompts have been provided by https://www.soberish.co/shadow-work-prompts/#shadow-work-prompts)
Shadow work is energetic cleansing, so it is important to take breaks, to reflect, and allow it to soak in before doing another. Check-in with yourself to see if you are emotionally ready for more journaling. In the same breath, check-in and be honest with yourself if you are wanting to avoid it and make excuses. You are the authority to yourself and holding yourself accountable is a part of the journey.
Why Self-Image Can Be Linked To Spiritual Health
Have you heard of Spiritual Health?
Spiritual Health can look like:
Honoring your intuition
Meditating for a clear mind (resting your mind from racing thoughts)
Seeking natural remedies ( Acupuncture, massage etc)
Spending time in nature
Developing a relationship with the universe.
How do these sound to you? Do they sound silly? Does it sound like it won’t do much?
Small steps are most likely to be overlooked and ignored because from a busy perspective, it might be difficult to grasp the idea that slowing down can actually propel our success and productivity. Think of it as a sling shot, to be sent flying forward, you must pull back to build momentum.
Now trust me, I’m not all preach, these things I wouldn’t be talking about unless I myself actually applied this to my life. I am a recovering perfectionist and I work everyday to maintain a peaceful, trusting mindset, (the developing the relationship with the universe to trust everything will be o.k). Yes, it’s challenging, it’s like working a muscle you haven’t ever used, it takes time. But it’s not impossible.
So why is it so important?
Well to be honest, if you like having your sanity than maybe this will be for you. It wasn’t until I stopped and slowed down that I noticed how much of a rat race mentality I was in all the time. Constantly playing ‘catch up’ with the world and its expectations. This is where we tie in body image.
The world and societies expectations, whatever part of the world you are in, have a strong hold on us and is reinforced by constant messaging through social media, ads, billboards, magazines and even family. It’s enough to make any person start comparing themselves to others and fall into a endless loop of ‘fixing ourselves’.
Now, I’m not saying to avoid this is all dependent on maintaining your spiritual health. That would be too easy. Sorry folks. There are plenty of other areas, like your mental mindset, emotional wellbeing and so on that can all be tended to to work on your body image. However, spiritual health is widely ignored because of this conditioning of ‘be better, be fast, get more done, do more work, nothing is enough…’ It’s all about ‘go, go go’ and not enough slow down.
Practice some of the mentioned tools above, even if it’s for 5 mins before you get ready for the day. Take a peaceful moment to yourself. There is no overnight success, this takes time and consistency, so this is your opportunity to also build patience and compassion for yourself.
When you start, please share your experiences with us. Join our facebook empowerment community. Link is below if you would like to be added!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/higherselfjourney/
Answer all the questions or your request will not be approved.
What Is Shadow Work?
What The Hell is Shadow Work and Why the Hell Should You Do It?
I’m pretty sure you’ve heard ‘It’s emotional’ , ‘you’ll cry’ ‘It’s deep’. All of which are true. So if those haven’t yet scared you off, you might be looking for a reason, or an ‘upside’ to it all.
Truth is, the upside takes getting uncomfortable first. So let’s go over what it’s not.
It’s NOT dangerous.
It may be painful at times, revisiting often ignored and unpleasant emotions, but shadow side left unchecked it can do more damage in the long term in life.
It’s not something you have to share with the world. (Unless you want to)
This option is totally left to you, however there is no obligation to share this with the world. If you decide to leave no trace and love fire like this pyro here, hello to the Fire Sign Gang!, burn it. That can also be a great way to release those heavy emotions.
Ok, So What Is It?
Shadow work is when you address the darker sides of your feelings. Like I mentioned above, they’re the ones we typically find unpleasant and ignore. (Which great prompt btw, ‘What emotion do I avoid the most and why?’) These are the more low vibrational energies of who you are. The purpose is to explore, accept maybe even learn to love these sides of yourself. The truth is, we are not all light, and we are not all darkness. For example, are you only a happy, joyful optimistic person every moment of your life? No, there are times where you may feel sad, disappointed, even angry. These emotions are just as much you as the other. Ignoring one is ignoring parts of yourself. Left unchecked these emotions can manifest in your present life in not so comfy ways. Like irritability, lack of patience with yourself and others, even self shame like perfectionism.
Ok, Why The Hell Should I Do It?
Doing shadow work is like your own personal therapy. (I do not advise you use this as your only source of therapy, if you’re able to see a talk therapist please use that as your primary mental health source.) Prompts done in safe and private space can help you get a deeper and more clear understanding of who you are. Your inner workings, ‘why you do what you do’. It’s such a great way to address conditioned actions you take but not sure why. It can help you better understand your external relationships and most importantly the one with yourself.
If you’re ready to jump into some prompts and would love support. Join our Facebook Group community where we share mantras, personal experiences and shadow work prompts for your journal at home.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/Higherselfjourney
Credits for collective info go to:
@amahlentshinga
@spiritivibez
Self-Care Photoshoot
The meaning of boudoir has expanded!
It can be something other than sexy lingerie or ‘tasteful’ posing.
It’s a form of self expression, self acceptance and radical self love. In a world that tells you to be one thing, BE YOU. And stand firm in that power.
I’m Sorry but I’m Letting Go.
This is a deeply personal letter regarding apologizing and healing from upholding harmful beliefs in order to evolve.
When I think back at 4 years ago, when I invested in a business consultant, I had no idea I was going to be starting my personal talk therapy again. The mindset and road blacks from my past kept me from ringing in and manifesting the success I saw for myself within my business. And the more I learned and evolved the more shame I felt for the things I’ve done to others in my past. Both outwardly and internally.
I had no idea for so long that I was a walking/talking projection of my pain, fear and insecurities and was causing harm for the sake of others approval and self protection. Add in internalized homophobia, misogyny and cultural expectations in a country built for whiteness and we have a whole jenga set ready to fall. From being what people call a ‘pick me girl’ by tearing other women down for male validation, to helping to carry out racist beliefs, to weaponizing truth and reacting with anger in a toxic way to lean into the stereotype of a “spicy Latina’. I’m done.
I’m not here to excuse myself by saying I was spoon fed these things and that I am a victim. I’m here to be the world I want to see. The grey with the black and white, that being fed that narrative, I ran with them, hurt people and carried no accountability for a time. But here to say that it wasn’t ok, that I was so wrong, and I’m educating myself and taking action to make amends. That I’m sorry I caused pain. What isn’t working anymore is beating myself up about it everyday, carrying the shame and the weight of those actions and using that as a reason not to manifest a better life. As I learn and obsess to do and be better, I carry more and more guilt and shame and self-sabatoge myself into not attracting abundance into my life. I have led myself to believe because I made mistakes, I don’t deserve good things. And that suuuucks.
Maybe to some that is Justice. On my journey of healing and doing better, I’m learning enoughness. Whole enough to tell myself what I’m doing IS enough, not forgive myself and forget all about it. Instead help heal the communities, always taking accountability, never stop learning and that that is enough in doing so.
I don’t believe in cancel culture, mainly because it doesnt show the world there is anything beyond shaming someone into the shadows. It doesn’t highlight enough ness in rehabilitation, accountability and healing for all. This country is about punishment, and it perpetuates this narrative that when you make a mistake you are broken, unfixable and to internalize shame that paralyzes people with fear to not do better because ‘what’s the point?’.
I’m 33 years old and writing this has always scared the absolute shit out of me. When I ask myself ‘why’ it was because I feared rejection, judgment and being shamed. But I can tell you this now, no one can shame me more than my own self already has. I know, I’ve done it for years. But I wanted to do better, I still do and I’ve been putting in the work tirelessly. Now it’s just time for me to stop, keep healing, keep doing better but leave behind the shame and guilt. I know I can never truly offer a safe space for people to stumble, fall and get up and be that beautiful change we all want to see in this world if I don’t allow it for myself. It’s always been easy to give others grace but not for me.
I’m sorry, but I’m letting go now. I want to help heal the world, I want to spread love and kindness, a safe place for people to be human beings. So that they can turn and continue to spread that to others. Sometimes the world can seem so bleak but I haven’t lost hope. If I can crawl out of so many fucked up outlooks, educate myself and take accountability, I believe anyone truly can too. Thats what I choose to believe.
I am an open book, you can ask me anything. What I will not do is give the impression that I’m all healed and that my outlooks will never continue to change. I’m constantly consuming education that helps myself and the collective in a positive way. With that I never seem the be the same person I was some time ago. As I learn, my outlook changes, as my beliefs are challenged there will always be mindset evolution. My goal is be better, and that’s what I promise myself to do everyday. It’s up to the world if they want to forgive me or not, either way I am still on this journey learning and doing better for myself and the world.
At the very least I hope this helps someone suffering from negative self talk and shame, who are depressed and can’t let go the mistakes of their past that they are still worthy of love and healing. And to show them that accountability is important in that fight. You do deserve to be happy just like everyone else. If I can so can you.
How to be confident for a photoshoot.
I’ve been meaning to write this for a while and a big reason why I haven’t may also be why you haven’t done a photoshoot for yourself yet. Confidence.
Not enough of it, or ‘just don’t have it’ it stops us dead in our tracks from doing something we see ‘more confident people’ do. Some who seem fearless jumping in front of camera, or like me, seeing people have the ‘balls’ to talk about uncomfortable topics. We have our own fears, I’ll tell you mine.
Fear of rejection/ or worse retaliation.
Fear of looking stupid.
Fear of sounding stupid.
Fear of being too ‘mean’.
I know some of those you can relate to, and when it comes to confidence, and I’m stepping out of my comfort zone for the sake of being who I really am deep down, it’s a choice. And it’s one you’re making, just like me. I never want to hurt someones feelings, but I realized in therapy I really only learn when hard to talk about subjects are being bluntly told to me. I’ve never been one to learn with people sugar coating things to me, so I guess you could say, I’m more familiar with being uncomfortable than I thought originally.
Confidence is a choice and here is why. We as a society are conditioned to have a set of beliefs on how we should be, act, look, sound, etc. And when we do not meet these expectations, there is something ‘wrong’ with us. There is this constant feeling of inadequacy pushed on to us and it stifles our creativity, our personality, even our decision making. We don’t typically lean into uncomfy topics because we have already experienced it with rejection from society. There will be nothing good enough we can do to gain the approval of the majority, and thats the issue. Giving someone else the power to validate us and tell us we’re ‘good enough’. Which is bullshit! Once I realized there is literally NOTHING good enough to gain general acceptance, I literally said ‘fuck it!’. I won’t be able to please everyone, I might as well be myself, and see where that gets me. Because it has to be better than giving someone else the power in telling me if I’m good enough or not. Thank you very much but I’ll do that myself now. I know better now. And it wasn’t so much a place I had to work to get to, it was a switch. By saying ‘fuck it’ I flipped the switch, and a very comfortable one at that, but here I am. For my happiness, for my sanity.
Where are you?
What NOT to do during a boudoir shoot
Worrying about what looks good on camera.
If there are certain poses you absolutely would love for yourself, share them! Otherwise if you are looking for poses to direct your photographer to direct for you, it won’t feel authentic and it won’t be fun worrying if you nailed it or not.
INSTEAD, go in with no expectations, move intuitively to get yourself out of your own head.
Telling yourself you’re not good enough. It’ll kill your vibe and you’ll have a horrible time during the shoot. Do you really want that feeling to be memorable every time you look back at the photos?
INSTEAD give yourself some pats on the back and credit when you nailed a pose and your photographer sings your praises! The photographer will be real with you and when they compliment you, bask in it! Give yourself permission to accept it with a open heart and allow it to inspire you to compliment yourself. Theres nothing better than photographing someone who is feeling themself, it is magical to watch a woman love her self.
Eating someting heavy and greasy right before the shoot. You’ll feel bloated and gross and just don’t do it to yourself.
INSTEAD, and this may seem self explanatory, before you order that yummy tall chicken sammie with sides, just ask yourself what foods you love that doesn’t leave you feeling heavy after, and choose that!
Wearing outfits that squeeze you too tightly and make you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes naked is the way to go if you dont want to bother with outfits and your photographer is comfortable with it. You’re already doing the thing, why not go all in! But if you do want to be clothed, make sure they make you feel good. More than likely something that is pinching you and creating rolls and pudges that don’t normally exist can be a vibe killer.
Doubting your photographer. Trust them, know you hired them for a reason and that they know there is a method to their madness. I know being in front of the camera can be daunting, don’t waste your energy creating doubt and a tense experience.
INSTEAD trust, live in the moment and whatever weird position or face you make by mistake, know that will not be in your gallery. Because a good photographer will always make you look like the best version of you in your photos. They will not give you the dupes. LOL!
Why I Am A Spiritual Photographer
There is a void in the women’s boudoir photography market.
Boudoir photographers are only catering to one kind of person, the ‘perfect body’. And the rest of us are not only under represented but not understood. These photographers often dont know how to photograph ‘normal bodies’ and they don’t cater to those who want a shoot but are nervous to.
It’s not personable.
When you think of full nude or boudoir photography, is your first thought; ‘Oh heck yes, I’m stunning, sign me up!’ or is it something like ‘Oh, that’s beautiful but I’m not photogenic..’ or maybe ‘My body wont look that good on camera.’?
We have some fears, whether that be body image insecurties, not trusting anyone enough to be nude on camera, maybe being judged, or even shaming ourselves. Truth is, we are all worthy, we care on some level what people think of us, and we need to feel safe in order to put our walls down a bit.
As a kid, I grew up in a pretty conservative household with patriarcal beliefs. I never saw my parents go on date nights or self- indulge for themselves and I realize now that connects directly with how they disaplined me. I’ll spare you the details, but in a nutshell my parents projected anger. . . a lot. Here’s what I learned about this later as an adult:
Self-care IS NOT selfish, you present your best self when you feel energized and happy.
It is vital that we kudos our own accomplishments in order to contribute to feeling good about ourselves.
We have to cut ties with societies expectations of us to live a fulfilled life.
We are enough, no matter what we do or don’t do. What we look like or what we don’t look like.
Bringing together these things cultivated a business I have never seen or heard of before. I didn’t see photographers investing time getting to know their clients, validating their feelings and experiences in meetings with them, or taking anytime with them at all before or after the shoot . Why not??
It seems so simple, but it’s not practiced. Listening to someone, validating them directly contributes to people feeling much more comfortable, excited even, to having a photoshoot. I wanted to provide that for the folks who just needed to be heard.
Results of this included:
Being less stressed day to day.
More patience and compassionate for loved ones in our life.
Embracing themselves for who they are in this moment.
Being more assertive about their needs.
Cultivating loving and respectful relationships with others.
Stopping self-negating thoughts.
Ever hear ‘You can only love another person as much as you love youself?’ My sole motivation is to remind people who the f**k they are. We get sucked into others expectations of us and often forget our power. Sometimes we just need a reminder, someone to come along and help us see past the bullshit, listen to our concerns and then get after it. When I help people step into their power, there is literally nothing stopping them from creating a world they feel joyfull in. The world can change with confident, unapologetic, happy people. You deserve to be happy, full of joy and stress-free. That’s all I want for you, and it’s ok to have a little help. That’s why I’m here.
The road of self-love
Dear lovely reader,
‘What has to end or die so we can experience a rebirth in our relationships?’ Brene Brown
When I was a kid, my mother ran a daycare inside of our home and during the summer months off from school I would take any chance I could to get out of there so I didn’t have to help. When I was 14 I started to ride the city bus around and do anything free in the city to avoid being home. San Antonio is a very large city so as you could imagine a 40mph routed bus would take quite a bit of time to get somewhere across town, and that was the goal. My escaping from home wasn’t to get somewhere and stay there, it was the ride there. It was the long rides, frequent stops, window gazing and enjoying the bumpy ride. It was my bliss, my alone time, a time to think and reflect, I honestly loved it, even during the hot Texas months.
Journeys DON’T HAVE to be this tiresome road to a destination, it looks different for every other individual but it can be enjoyable. I know at times it can get loud, the voices of others telling you how and what that journey is supposed to look like, but the truth of the matter is life is not a one size fits all. Just like our bodies are all built differently based on the regions of the world our ancestors came from, so does the way we live life. Remember when you’re focused on the outcome and not living in the today, you’re missing the point of this life we have been given.
If you feel a lot of lows and highs, and at times feels like you’re totally off track, you’ll find your way back. On your own time, on your own terms. *Did you know a Ohio State psychologist named Jennifer Crockers did a study on 600 college students at the University on stress levels based on their needs on outside validation? Want to know what she found? It reported students who sought approval -of their appearance, grades, choices you name it - more stress and higher levels of drug abuse and eating disorders. Students who based their self-esteem and confidence on internal sources, such as being virtuous or having a strong moral code, did better than the others in exams and had lower levels of drug and alcohol abuse.
Everyday may not look the same or what you expect, but as long as you’re doing the best you can in that moment you’re doing great. Know that outside opinons that people want to cast onto does’nt need to be owned. You have the power to leave behind what does’nt serve you and keep what does. Consider this a love letter of truth and love. I want you to enjoy your life, surround youself with love and positivity and leave behind the negative and unrealistic expecatations.
You are beautiful.
You are worthy.
You are strong.
You are powerful.
Love,
Amanda
Self-Worth, Self-Love & Boudoir
2,305 Likes, 41 Comments - Stephanie Chinn (she/her) (@stephaniechinnart) on Instagram: "We are changing, our bodies are changing, everything is changing and feels uncertain. But your..."
When it comes to self-worth, it can be hard for a lot of women to find theirs. From childhood we are taught to have certain beliefs and expectations around what it means to be a woman. Be lady-like, don’t be too aggressive, be kind but not a door mat, be smart, but don’t intimidate others…
When it comes to finding our self-worth we tend to tie it to things like our looks, how productive we are or even to how others views of us. We somehow believe that it’s a destination we have to work tirelessly to achieve. We work hard and harder the next day to achieve that to-do list or reducing our pant size. Losing these love handles, making our thighs slimmer, or our booties bigger.
How do we find self-worth within ourselves? What does it look like to not be influenced by society or even family on how we SHOULD look? How do we listen to our own voices?? How do we truly embody it, in our head AND heart? And if it doesn’t come from these places, where does it come from?
You may or may not like the answer. You literally have the power inside you right now, right this second as you’re reading this.
I know I know, ‘Are you kidding Amanda? What kind of 90’s sitcom sh!t is that!?’ ‘It’S INsIDe yOu aLL AlOng’. BUT HEAR ME OUT. There is no power left for yourself when you’re giving it to others. When we give people the power to tell us how to live our life we relinquish it from ourselves. Have you ever seen that video ‘Be A Lady’? It is painstakingly apparent that we have these absolutely IMPOSSIBLE standards to meet, that it sounds absurd to hear them back to back. It might be a first step in the direction of cutting those influential ties and saving our own sanity.
‘Be A Lady’
When we starting cutting those ties we are creating a new energy like no other for self-love. Choosing not to listen any longer and say in the face of society ‘that’s not realistic and I’m not going to listen to that’ will create huge shifts in your life. Waking up everyday and finding something you love about yourself will do the same thing. What all these small actions are doing is building a stronger foundation of self-love and power to listen to your own voice and blocking out the negative ones trying to come in.
You can choose to continue on the long draining road of achieving your ‘dream body’ or can show it acts of love by going for that run as a show of gratitude not punishment. Have you ever looked back at a old photo of you and say to yourself ‘Wow, I looked amazing back then, now I’m troll.’ Guess what . . . the cycle doesn’t stop until you choose it to. You can continue on that round-about every few years never truly loving your body or you can start loving yourself and be happier today, here and now!
We need to start taking responsibility for our own well being, because frankly no one will do it for us. You are worthy of the hard work it takes to be happy, only you can give yourself that permission.