Transmuting Catalyst Life Moments | Allies Story
Dark photography, though not novel, is a recent exploration for me. I've always been drawn to it, perhaps because I was born into a dark childhood, making it a more familiar energy. Yet, I believe it enables us to feel seen in a way that is pure, authentic, raw, and relatable. It holds the power to reveal our humanity—our shared experiences of pain and growth. It becomes essential to view each other as fellow humans navigating life's challenges. To be able to say, 'Here I am, revealing the parts of me that I fear may lead to rejection and lack of love,' and in response, hear, 'I see you. I love you. Thank you for being you. I want to share my story too...' This creates a ripple effect of vulnerability and healing, fostering a space where judgment for our pain points is replaced by hearts extended in solidarity and support.
It's a unique form of community building. I am honored to share the space with Allie, who courageously laid bare the pain she was experiencing in life, and I wish to convey her story to you
— ALLIE’S STORY —
“I continued talk therapy, however, a year after my breakup, I was still hitting a brick wall. I was mad and angry. I wanted retribution; I wanted justice for what was done to me. It felt very much like God had orchestrated the dismantling of my life without warning and without my consent, and it wasn’t fair. I wanted everyone to know what happened to me. So much so, I started trauma dumping on the lady in the crystal store (totally not cool)! I felt like I needed another alternative if I was truly able to move forward. And that’s when I found Amanda and the beautiful services she offered!
Amanda was willing to not only bear witness to my grief, but she was offering to capture it. To be able to share it with others. I was finally able to show people and say, “See! This is what I was going through! This is what it felt like to have my life taken away from me!” So often in my life, I have been told it’s okay to be sad, but not for too long, and not if you’re going to be sad in front of other people. And I think why I kept hitting my brick wall and wanting this exposure to be seen is because it meant something to me and I didn’t want to forget.
I’ve often said that, in the most dramatic of terms, this was my metaphorical death. I wanted it to mean something because my lost life held significance. Even if God himself didn’t find worth in it, so much so that he took it away, it still held meaning for me. The woman who grieved its loss meant something, and I didn’t want her to be pushed aside, swept under the rug, and forgotten. She deserves to be honored and remembered for giving so much of herself, for this life she desperately wanted, giving all of herself until there was nothing left.
For about eight months after receiving the pictures from Amanda, I kept them to myself. I would occasionally look at them, cry, hold space for myself, or marvel at the macabre beauty of it all. It served as a promise to myself not to allow this same type of destruction and despair to happen again. When I was ready, I posted the pictures along with my story on social media. As a major life event for me - a clear defining moment with a concrete before and after - it deserved a spot among my other life events.
I can’t further describe the meaning of these pictures for me. It was an act of defiance against God, who took something dear from me, and against society, which told me to stop grieving for so long. It was a memorial service for my past self that I never got and a way for me to carry my grief outside of myself. I am forever grateful to Amanda for providing this opportunity for me to continue my healing journey and for bearing witness to my grief.”
It is genuinely powerful and beautiful to witness how, over time, this experience has bestowed upon her increasing clarity, considering I've heard two distinct narratives. There's the tale from our initial encounter and the one she shares today. My heart swelled with emotion as our first call concluded, and in that moment, I knew I was compelled to creatively contribute everything within my capacity to bring her a semblance of healing. It transcends mere aesthetics; it embodies profound symbolism. The resonance of that experience remains close to my heart, one among many I aspire to facilitate. I understand.
Amanda
Owner of French Press Photographie
Interested in the experience for yourself? You can book a free consult with Amanda HERE.