The road of self-love
Dear lovely reader,
‘What has to end or die so we can experience a rebirth in our relationships?’ Brene Brown
When I was a kid, my mother ran a daycare inside of our home and during the summer months off from school I would take any chance I could to get out of there so I didn’t have to help. When I was 14 I started to ride the city bus around and do anything free in the city to avoid being home. San Antonio is a very large city so as you could imagine a 40mph routed bus would take quite a bit of time to get somewhere across town, and that was the goal. My escaping from home wasn’t to get somewhere and stay there, it was the ride there. It was the long rides, frequent stops, window gazing and enjoying the bumpy ride. It was my bliss, my alone time, a time to think and reflect, I honestly loved it, even during the hot Texas months.
Journeys DON’T HAVE to be this tiresome road to a destination, it looks different for every other individual but it can be enjoyable. I know at times it can get loud, the voices of others telling you how and what that journey is supposed to look like, but the truth of the matter is life is not a one size fits all. Just like our bodies are all built differently based on the regions of the world our ancestors came from, so does the way we live life. Remember when you’re focused on the outcome and not living in the today, you’re missing the point of this life we have been given.
If you feel a lot of lows and highs, and at times feels like you’re totally off track, you’ll find your way back. On your own time, on your own terms. *Did you know a Ohio State psychologist named Jennifer Crockers did a study on 600 college students at the University on stress levels based on their needs on outside validation? Want to know what she found? It reported students who sought approval -of their appearance, grades, choices you name it - more stress and higher levels of drug abuse and eating disorders. Students who based their self-esteem and confidence on internal sources, such as being virtuous or having a strong moral code, did better than the others in exams and had lower levels of drug and alcohol abuse.
Everyday may not look the same or what you expect, but as long as you’re doing the best you can in that moment you’re doing great. Know that outside opinons that people want to cast onto does’nt need to be owned. You have the power to leave behind what does’nt serve you and keep what does. Consider this a love letter of truth and love. I want you to enjoy your life, surround youself with love and positivity and leave behind the negative and unrealistic expecatations.
You are beautiful.
You are worthy.
You are strong.
You are powerful.
Love,
Amanda
How To Be Confident For A Boudoir Photoshoot
So you want to do a boudoir, but don’t know the first thing about being sexy, how to pose yourself or where to even begin about looking confident on camera. I am a boudoir/sultry photographer based out of Austin Texas, and I have traveled all over for clients that hire me for this exact reason to help them with. So I’m going to help you get there. You don’t have to do it alone.
First Question: Are you confident in your everyday life? We gotta work on that first sis.
It’s ok, we have all been there. Boudoir shoots, believe it or not, are 90% mindset. It’s not about having the perfect outfit, location or even photographer. (Even though those do help and are important) The MOST important thing is your mindset.
A talented photographer can’t teach you how to be confident and love yourself, you need to teach yourself! I know, its hard work, mentally you have to fight every self-negating thought in your head with a positive one, so it can make you feel like an imposter. But trust me when I say, you have to train your brain, because no photoshoot will cure that for you.
So let’s get your mind right! Self-love starts with proper self-care. Are you doing things that bring you joy or deplete you of your precious energy?
Start With A Gratitude Journal
- This is probably one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself. Start with writing 3 things everyday, and if more come to you, write those down too. Do this everyday, consistency is key! You have to put in the work, so carve out a few minutes to write these down. It can be as small as a yummy cup of coffee, or the sky was clear and blue today. Whatever swells you up with joy are the things to journal.
Train Your Brain
- When you start writing down things that bring you joy, you’re actually doing more than you think. Internally you are building new nueropathways in your brain and you have now given your brain a NEW task. Finding things that bring you joy. You're going to start noticing all the things that you like vs. the things you don’t like. Changing the way your brain operates will make it easier to find the things you love instead of focusing on the things you lack or don’t have. Give yourself kudos for this! Praise yourself, your inner child and goddess thanks you! YAY, new and positive nueropathways!
Love Your Body, Don’t Punish it
- This is big one. The actions you have throughout the day has a huge impact on your mindset. When you workout, are you doing it because you know your body is a temple? Or because you at that cheeseburger and now ‘paying the price’? What you do and WHY is important. Next time you think about taking a jog or doing some lifting, do it FOR her (your body) not because you don’t like her now.
When you’ve tried this out, please send me a message! I would love to hear about your journey and how this serves you in your own unique way! :)
Continuous Battle of Imposter Syndrome
Imposter Syndrome can look like many things. In the professional world, you may not deem yourself worthy of that promotion you received or the roll you play in your company. It can pertain to your personal life, not feeling like you are not THAT friend or THAT ideal family member.
For me it looked like not worthy of starting a business where I can build up other women, cause ‘Who the f are you to tell women how to love themselves?!’ My self talk was, you are working on so many issues in your life, undoing past trauma and rewiring your way of thinking every single day, how can you possibly tell people how to be happy?! And that was it. . . I told myself, that’s exactly why I have to.
Your journey, my journey to wholeheartedness and self improvement isn’t a one time train ticket to a single destination, it’s constant learning and sharing the knowledge. Extending the hand to other women on the journey a few steps behind you and sharing that valuable information. For me I want to ease the pain that is the negative self talk, and all the damage that it can do to your life. Negative self talk is like a drop in a lake, it can expand into every aspect of your life and it shows.
Whether you are ready to admit it or not, the ways your negative self talk shows up in your life can look like:
Impatience towards your partner/people in general
Quickness to judge others
Not wanting to have sex with the lights on
Loneliness
Feeling drained and depleted of energy
Tired all the time
The list goes on.
And those things are real especially for the women in our lives. When we allow negative self talk we are allowing all the low vibrational people, experiences and emotions to enter our lives.
I know because I’ve been there. I had the crappiest friends, who were not supportive, talked behind my back. A crappy relationship with someone who couldn’t get their own mental and emotional baggage together, so our frustrations were taken out on each other, constantly fighting. Eating like crap because I thought, ‘Well why tf not, I'm a POC anyway"‘. All that low vibrational energy was just a big huge neon sign of an invitation to keep loading more low vibrations onto me.
So when I say I help women cure imposter syndrome through photography, I mean it. It is a handheld experience, not one where I show up once then ghost. I talk to my clients and really listen. I show them outside their own perspective who they are on camera. Women see themselves in lights and ways they have never seen themselves before, and it is of such high value to have something like that in your life. It’s that constant reminder, that ignitor to light up the fire again when it feels like its dimming.
I do this because women shine the brightest when they feel their best, and wonderful things change in this world when they do. They are innovative, they are more creative, they are more compassionate, to themselves and others. They are assertive and goal chasers. Because whoever heard of someone that got what they wanted by being a pessimist?
If you are ready to break out of your impostor syndrome, message me, let’s talk.
or email me directly at HELLO@frenchpressphoto.com