How to be confident for a photoshoot.
I’ve been meaning to write this for a while and a big reason why I haven’t may also be why you haven’t done a photoshoot for yourself yet. Confidence.
Not enough of it, or ‘just don’t have it’ it stops us dead in our tracks from doing something we see ‘more confident people’ do. Some who seem fearless jumping in front of camera, or like me, seeing people have the ‘balls’ to talk about uncomfortable topics. We have our own fears, I’ll tell you mine.
Fear of rejection/ or worse retaliation.
Fear of looking stupid.
Fear of sounding stupid.
Fear of being too ‘mean’.
I know some of those you can relate to, and when it comes to confidence, and I’m stepping out of my comfort zone for the sake of being who I really am deep down, it’s a choice. And it’s one you’re making, just like me. I never want to hurt someones feelings, but I realized in therapy I really only learn when hard to talk about subjects are being bluntly told to me. I’ve never been one to learn with people sugar coating things to me, so I guess you could say, I’m more familiar with being uncomfortable than I thought originally.
Confidence is a choice and here is why. We as a society are conditioned to have a set of beliefs on how we should be, act, look, sound, etc. And when we do not meet these expectations, there is something ‘wrong’ with us. There is this constant feeling of inadequacy pushed on to us and it stifles our creativity, our personality, even our decision making. We don’t typically lean into uncomfy topics because we have already experienced it with rejection from society. There will be nothing good enough we can do to gain the approval of the majority, and thats the issue. Giving someone else the power to validate us and tell us we’re ‘good enough’. Which is bullshit! Once I realized there is literally NOTHING good enough to gain general acceptance, I literally said ‘fuck it!’. I won’t be able to please everyone, I might as well be myself, and see where that gets me. Because it has to be better than giving someone else the power in telling me if I’m good enough or not. Thank you very much but I’ll do that myself now. I know better now. And it wasn’t so much a place I had to work to get to, it was a switch. By saying ‘fuck it’ I flipped the switch, and a very comfortable one at that, but here I am. For my happiness, for my sanity.
Where are you?
Self-Worth, Self-Love & Boudoir
2,305 Likes, 41 Comments - Stephanie Chinn (she/her) (@stephaniechinnart) on Instagram: "We are changing, our bodies are changing, everything is changing and feels uncertain. But your..."
When it comes to self-worth, it can be hard for a lot of women to find theirs. From childhood we are taught to have certain beliefs and expectations around what it means to be a woman. Be lady-like, don’t be too aggressive, be kind but not a door mat, be smart, but don’t intimidate others…
When it comes to finding our self-worth we tend to tie it to things like our looks, how productive we are or even to how others views of us. We somehow believe that it’s a destination we have to work tirelessly to achieve. We work hard and harder the next day to achieve that to-do list or reducing our pant size. Losing these love handles, making our thighs slimmer, or our booties bigger.
How do we find self-worth within ourselves? What does it look like to not be influenced by society or even family on how we SHOULD look? How do we listen to our own voices?? How do we truly embody it, in our head AND heart? And if it doesn’t come from these places, where does it come from?
You may or may not like the answer. You literally have the power inside you right now, right this second as you’re reading this.
I know I know, ‘Are you kidding Amanda? What kind of 90’s sitcom sh!t is that!?’ ‘It’S INsIDe yOu aLL AlOng’. BUT HEAR ME OUT. There is no power left for yourself when you’re giving it to others. When we give people the power to tell us how to live our life we relinquish it from ourselves. Have you ever seen that video ‘Be A Lady’? It is painstakingly apparent that we have these absolutely IMPOSSIBLE standards to meet, that it sounds absurd to hear them back to back. It might be a first step in the direction of cutting those influential ties and saving our own sanity.
‘Be A Lady’
When we starting cutting those ties we are creating a new energy like no other for self-love. Choosing not to listen any longer and say in the face of society ‘that’s not realistic and I’m not going to listen to that’ will create huge shifts in your life. Waking up everyday and finding something you love about yourself will do the same thing. What all these small actions are doing is building a stronger foundation of self-love and power to listen to your own voice and blocking out the negative ones trying to come in.
You can choose to continue on the long draining road of achieving your ‘dream body’ or can show it acts of love by going for that run as a show of gratitude not punishment. Have you ever looked back at a old photo of you and say to yourself ‘Wow, I looked amazing back then, now I’m troll.’ Guess what . . . the cycle doesn’t stop until you choose it to. You can continue on that round-about every few years never truly loving your body or you can start loving yourself and be happier today, here and now!
We need to start taking responsibility for our own well being, because frankly no one will do it for us. You are worthy of the hard work it takes to be happy, only you can give yourself that permission.
Reach out to me if you need someone to talk to about this. You’re not in this alone.
How To Be Confident For A Boudoir Photoshoot
So you want to do a boudoir, but don’t know the first thing about being sexy, how to pose yourself or where to even begin about looking confident on camera. I am a boudoir/sultry photographer based out of Austin Texas, and I have traveled all over for clients that hire me for this exact reason to help them with. So I’m going to help you get there. You don’t have to do it alone.
First Question: Are you confident in your everyday life? We gotta work on that first sis.
It’s ok, we have all been there. Boudoir shoots, believe it or not, are 90% mindset. It’s not about having the perfect outfit, location or even photographer. (Even though those do help and are important) The MOST important thing is your mindset.
A talented photographer can’t teach you how to be confident and love yourself, you need to teach yourself! I know, its hard work, mentally you have to fight every self-negating thought in your head with a positive one, so it can make you feel like an imposter. But trust me when I say, you have to train your brain, because no photoshoot will cure that for you.
So let’s get your mind right! Self-love starts with proper self-care. Are you doing things that bring you joy or deplete you of your precious energy?
Start With A Gratitude Journal
- This is probably one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself. Start with writing 3 things everyday, and if more come to you, write those down too. Do this everyday, consistency is key! You have to put in the work, so carve out a few minutes to write these down. It can be as small as a yummy cup of coffee, or the sky was clear and blue today. Whatever swells you up with joy are the things to journal.
Train Your Brain
- When you start writing down things that bring you joy, you’re actually doing more than you think. Internally you are building new nueropathways in your brain and you have now given your brain a NEW task. Finding things that bring you joy. You're going to start noticing all the things that you like vs. the things you don’t like. Changing the way your brain operates will make it easier to find the things you love instead of focusing on the things you lack or don’t have. Give yourself kudos for this! Praise yourself, your inner child and goddess thanks you! YAY, new and positive nueropathways!
Love Your Body, Don’t Punish it
- This is big one. The actions you have throughout the day has a huge impact on your mindset. When you workout, are you doing it because you know your body is a temple? Or because you at that cheeseburger and now ‘paying the price’? What you do and WHY is important. Next time you think about taking a jog or doing some lifting, do it FOR her (your body) not because you don’t like her now.