The road of self-love
Dear lovely reader,
‘What has to end or die so we can experience a rebirth in our relationships?’ Brene Brown
When I was a kid, my mother ran a daycare inside of our home and during the summer months off from school I would take any chance I could to get out of there so I didn’t have to help. When I was 14 I started to ride the city bus around and do anything free in the city to avoid being home. San Antonio is a very large city so as you could imagine a 40mph routed bus would take quite a bit of time to get somewhere across town, and that was the goal. My escaping from home wasn’t to get somewhere and stay there, it was the ride there. It was the long rides, frequent stops, window gazing and enjoying the bumpy ride. It was my bliss, my alone time, a time to think and reflect, I honestly loved it, even during the hot Texas months.
Journeys DON’T HAVE to be this tiresome road to a destination, it looks different for every other individual but it can be enjoyable. I know at times it can get loud, the voices of others telling you how and what that journey is supposed to look like, but the truth of the matter is life is not a one size fits all. Just like our bodies are all built differently based on the regions of the world our ancestors came from, so does the way we live life. Remember when you’re focused on the outcome and not living in the today, you’re missing the point of this life we have been given.
If you feel a lot of lows and highs, and at times feels like you’re totally off track, you’ll find your way back. On your own time, on your own terms. *Did you know a Ohio State psychologist named Jennifer Crockers did a study on 600 college students at the University on stress levels based on their needs on outside validation? Want to know what she found? It reported students who sought approval -of their appearance, grades, choices you name it - more stress and higher levels of drug abuse and eating disorders. Students who based their self-esteem and confidence on internal sources, such as being virtuous or having a strong moral code, did better than the others in exams and had lower levels of drug and alcohol abuse.
Everyday may not look the same or what you expect, but as long as you’re doing the best you can in that moment you’re doing great. Know that outside opinons that people want to cast onto does’nt need to be owned. You have the power to leave behind what does’nt serve you and keep what does. Consider this a love letter of truth and love. I want you to enjoy your life, surround youself with love and positivity and leave behind the negative and unrealistic expecatations.
You are beautiful.
You are worthy.
You are strong.
You are powerful.
Love,
Amanda
Self-Worth, Self-Love & Boudoir
2,305 Likes, 41 Comments - Stephanie Chinn (she/her) (@stephaniechinnart) on Instagram: "We are changing, our bodies are changing, everything is changing and feels uncertain. But your..."
When it comes to self-worth, it can be hard for a lot of women to find theirs. From childhood we are taught to have certain beliefs and expectations around what it means to be a woman. Be lady-like, don’t be too aggressive, be kind but not a door mat, be smart, but don’t intimidate others…
When it comes to finding our self-worth we tend to tie it to things like our looks, how productive we are or even to how others views of us. We somehow believe that it’s a destination we have to work tirelessly to achieve. We work hard and harder the next day to achieve that to-do list or reducing our pant size. Losing these love handles, making our thighs slimmer, or our booties bigger.
How do we find self-worth within ourselves? What does it look like to not be influenced by society or even family on how we SHOULD look? How do we listen to our own voices?? How do we truly embody it, in our head AND heart? And if it doesn’t come from these places, where does it come from?
You may or may not like the answer. You literally have the power inside you right now, right this second as you’re reading this.
I know I know, ‘Are you kidding Amanda? What kind of 90’s sitcom sh!t is that!?’ ‘It’S INsIDe yOu aLL AlOng’. BUT HEAR ME OUT. There is no power left for yourself when you’re giving it to others. When we give people the power to tell us how to live our life we relinquish it from ourselves. Have you ever seen that video ‘Be A Lady’? It is painstakingly apparent that we have these absolutely IMPOSSIBLE standards to meet, that it sounds absurd to hear them back to back. It might be a first step in the direction of cutting those influential ties and saving our own sanity.
‘Be A Lady’
When we starting cutting those ties we are creating a new energy like no other for self-love. Choosing not to listen any longer and say in the face of society ‘that’s not realistic and I’m not going to listen to that’ will create huge shifts in your life. Waking up everyday and finding something you love about yourself will do the same thing. What all these small actions are doing is building a stronger foundation of self-love and power to listen to your own voice and blocking out the negative ones trying to come in.
You can choose to continue on the long draining road of achieving your ‘dream body’ or can show it acts of love by going for that run as a show of gratitude not punishment. Have you ever looked back at a old photo of you and say to yourself ‘Wow, I looked amazing back then, now I’m troll.’ Guess what . . . the cycle doesn’t stop until you choose it to. You can continue on that round-about every few years never truly loving your body or you can start loving yourself and be happier today, here and now!
We need to start taking responsibility for our own well being, because frankly no one will do it for us. You are worthy of the hard work it takes to be happy, only you can give yourself that permission.