Self-Worth, Self-Love & Boudoir
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When it comes to self-worth, it can be hard for a lot of women to find theirs. From childhood we are taught to have certain beliefs and expectations around what it means to be a woman. Be lady-like, don’t be too aggressive, be kind but not a door mat, be smart, but don’t intimidate others…
When it comes to finding our self-worth we tend to tie it to things like our looks, how productive we are or even to how others views of us. We somehow believe that it’s a destination we have to work tirelessly to achieve. We work hard and harder the next day to achieve that to-do list or reducing our pant size. Losing these love handles, making our thighs slimmer, or our booties bigger.
How do we find self-worth within ourselves? What does it look like to not be influenced by society or even family on how we SHOULD look? How do we listen to our own voices?? How do we truly embody it, in our head AND heart? And if it doesn’t come from these places, where does it come from?
You may or may not like the answer. You literally have the power inside you right now, right this second as you’re reading this.
I know I know, ‘Are you kidding Amanda? What kind of 90’s sitcom sh!t is that!?’ ‘It’S INsIDe yOu aLL AlOng’. BUT HEAR ME OUT. There is no power left for yourself when you’re giving it to others. When we give people the power to tell us how to live our life we relinquish it from ourselves. Have you ever seen that video ‘Be A Lady’? It is painstakingly apparent that we have these absolutely IMPOSSIBLE standards to meet, that it sounds absurd to hear them back to back. It might be a first step in the direction of cutting those influential ties and saving our own sanity.
‘Be A Lady’
When we starting cutting those ties we are creating a new energy like no other for self-love. Choosing not to listen any longer and say in the face of society ‘that’s not realistic and I’m not going to listen to that’ will create huge shifts in your life. Waking up everyday and finding something you love about yourself will do the same thing. What all these small actions are doing is building a stronger foundation of self-love and power to listen to your own voice and blocking out the negative ones trying to come in.
You can choose to continue on the long draining road of achieving your ‘dream body’ or can show it acts of love by going for that run as a show of gratitude not punishment. Have you ever looked back at a old photo of you and say to yourself ‘Wow, I looked amazing back then, now I’m troll.’ Guess what . . . the cycle doesn’t stop until you choose it to. You can continue on that round-about every few years never truly loving your body or you can start loving yourself and be happier today, here and now!
We need to start taking responsibility for our own well being, because frankly no one will do it for us. You are worthy of the hard work it takes to be happy, only you can give yourself that permission.
Reach out to me if you need someone to talk to about this. You’re not in this alone.
Why I Do Boudoir Photography. Giving Women Keys To Their Own Power.
Self improvement and Photography.
I am obsessed with self-help books and one I finished recently was Daring Greatly. I. loved. it. (Side note, if you have read it, HMU, I’d love to talk about it) The very last chapter focuses on parenting and I was reluctant to read it. Just the mention of kids makes me retract quicker than a frightened gofer. I personally don’t want my own kids, for years I’ve always felt like I could do more good with people here today. More specifically women, through photography (whether boudoir or lifestyle) to get them to use the keys to their own power and make waves in their own world. Much different from having other photographers just show up, a total stranger, and having a very forgettable photoshoot.
The idea is helping grow people here, NOW. Building them up to see how powerful, valuable, and of course, beautiful they are. By building a connection with them, making them feel heard, validated and cared for. Then photographing them in a breakthrough experience because of the connection we built and the mental blocks they discovered and overcame. The process results in great transformation, but only if you show up. I can make it simple, but it won’t be easy. Your mindset to self-improvement and loving yourself is like a parachute, it will only work if it’s open. Will you take responsibility for yourself and take the steps to have a more healthy mindset about yourself?
This only works if my potential client takes responsibility for themselves. If you see that the world has a responsibility to make YOU feel better, you’re not the client for me. If you want a 100/0 work comparison while expecting life changing results, we won’t be a good fit. I have total compassion for women who are not ready for change, it takes overcoming fear and facing the shame to make moves for change, so some never do.
“How do I know I am ready?” Well, you make an appt and show up. I always start on a Skype call, and see if we click. One step at a time.
Whether the person chooses to challenge themselves to grow or not, there’s no right or wrong way to live this life (as long as nobody is getting hurt). Having compassion for one another will be one of the most important things to implement in our life. And that is one thing I was never taught growing up but learned as an adult. More specifically to have compassion for women who are having trouble harnessing their power, who use things or people as a distraction from dealing with their own internal struggles. We’re all guilty of it at one point or another in our lives, we’re human. The real question is are you ready to do something about it and ask for help?
My self improvement journey is priceless, and I would feel selfish keeping these tools all to myself. Learning to be compassionate, to myself and others. How to negate self negative thoughts (escaping the gremlins) and navigate the uncharted waters of self improvement. After all, the suffering I experienced and all the lows, I would never want people to feel like that. I want to help ease the pain or maybe even prevent it all together. How? Through my art, while building strong connections to photograph a significant turning point in my clients life.
Putting it all together.
It’s like all the pieces came to me at different times in my life, and I finally figured out that I could fit them together. It looks different than other puzzles, it’s unconventional and there is no clear road map to follow now. I had to learn to follow my heart, trust and be at peace with uncertainty. Growing to learn to challenge all the things I was lead to believe, how to live life, and that it doesn’t actually have to applied to mine. Sharing that and making people feel validated and human is what I want out of what I do. So I’m more than JUST another photographer. I want to attract the people that seek connection, guidance and a photoshoot EXPERIENCE, than just a regular photoshoot. I want them to feel something significant and be fueled with purpose when they look at themselves in these photos. There are many photographers that will show up take a great photo of you and never hear from again. That may work for some people but for me that has always seemed half-hearted for my journey. I want to change lives and build connections, but we have to get personal to get there.
*Questions for women who want boudoir w/life changing results.
Do you compare your new body to your old one?
Are you fearful of seeing yourself in an image because you’ll dislike it?
Is that fear keeping you from doing things you really want to do?
Do you avoid certain situations in fear of shame? (self-shame or shame from others)
Are you experiencing self-shame, insecurity, or both?
How is avoiding those situations effecting the way you feel about yourself and communicate with others?
What effect does that it have on your day to day life?
Does it effect the efficiency of your work?
Does it effect your intimacy with your partner?
Does it effect your relationships with your friends or even kids?
(It’s free!)
*Amanda is a empowerment boudoir and dream wedding photographer based in Austin Texas